Release During Grief

Hello, Thank you and welcome back to Healing Minds.  A place where we work on our mental strength daily to life a healthy life.

Today I am going to talk about an important topic.  This episode will be about grief and how we can heal to move forward during this difficult time. 

You never deny your grief and no matter how uncomfortable it should be discussed. It is nothing to push aside as it cannot be ignored. 

It is an inevitable part of being human and we will face it sometime during our life.  If a loved one has passed away, grief can be heavy and the overwhelming emotions will be unbearable.   When my mom passed away from a terminal illness during which I was her caregiver, it was deeply painful. 

I was exhausted emotionally and physically and the deep process of grief was very hard to face. I lost myself and felt my limbs were detached.  I was indifferent to the world, did not see joy, and felt no purpose or mission in life. I felt defeated, lost, alone, angry, and the list goes on. To explain my process would be a separate show.  I want to help you in facing your grief journey.

I allowed myself to go through every painful step and not pressure myself to give it a time limit.  Two and a half months later as I was getting a grip and understanding of grief a good friend passed away also.  I was numb and did not know how to grieve again as I already was going through unbearable grief.  The only way I was able to move forward is go through every painful step. 

The steps of grief are real.  This is normal. You are supposed to be depressed, angry, anxious, fearful, or any other hard emotion.  You don’t just snap out of it and become happy or enjoy activities that used to bring you joy.  Why do you run away from something that will follow you no matter where you go.  The best way is to face it and work through the healing process.

Here are the Healing Minds Power Tips During Your Grief Journey

1. This is your grief time and do not allow anyone to tell you that you should be over it in a week, month, or give you a time limit.  Grief does not have a deadline.  You work through the deep emotions as long as it takes you to feel good again to move forward.  Don’t be alarmed as physical pain can be a product of grief.  I had backaches, shoulder, stomach aches, and felt physically drained.

2. Release anything you feel. It is okay to cry every day or not feel like going out. It is okay to take time off work. Get angry, sleep more, and breakdowns are okay.  This is a highly sensitive time so don’t be alarmed if you are tuned in more or perhaps disconnected more to your surroundings.  It will be intense and you want to sleep it off and wake up until it’s gone, but there is no easy way around it.  Intensity will be there and slowly, it may feel like a long process, but it will get better.  I didn’t say go away, but better with time.

3. Grief doesn’t mean to forget the person, even if you feel like others don’t care or have somewhat forgotten and continued their life. You can remember the person always.  You can look at photos, write them a letter or photo, look at videos or anything that will bring you closer or to relive memories.  There is nothing wrong with that.  

4. Don’t suffer in silence. When you are ready, check for bereavement groups in your area. Contact a psychologist to support you in moving forward healthily during grief.  If you are severely depressed or anxious and have sleep difficulties or unproductive, self-sabotaging thoughts, contact a psychiatrist who may offer medication as a tool to support you to go through this hard time.  That does not mean you avoid hard emotions, but if there is a stage where you have gone through it and it is still too unbearable, temporary medication may be needed to support you.

5. Don’t make important life decisions during grief as you may regret it later on and it is not with a sound mind.  I planned to move, anywhere but here.  I cleared my desk as I was going to quit my job.  I applied to jobs in states I have not visited.  I was determined to heal somewhere else, but here.  I was going to sell my house right away.  Let me slow down.  Those was wrong and good think I realized it early on rather than later, that they were poor decisions for me.  Wait at least six months to a year before deciding to move, quit your job, go backpacking across the country or live in a mountain hideaway.  You need these decisions to be made with a clear mind, not clouded with depression.

6. Reintroduce yourself to life gradually.  Depending on your circumstances and the loss, you may want to eliminate or add interests, who you spend time with, or places you go.  You will not feel like participating in activities that seemed fun and you may want a lot of quiet time. 

  7. Take a vacation not away from the grief as that goes with you, but someplace new.  You expose yourself to new settings and may discover where you belong or how you want to navigate your life.  Travel can present a perspective on life.

8. Choose something that you have had an interest or passion for a long time, but were never bold to do it.  Perhaps not in the first month or two of the grief, but you can slowly explore it.  That can add more meaning to life and make you feel good about something you are doing.

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